My mom died 12/7/14.She was 66. She died on the second Sunday in Advent that year. The candle in week two on an advent wreath is Peace. How fitting. Mom is now at peace. She is experiencing the peace of God. And one day, either when I die, or Jesus comes again, I too will experience the fullness of God’s peace.
As of today (12/5/14) my mom is now in palliative care. Since 10am, the ventilator has been shut off and the only medicines my mom is receiving are for pain.
There is praise music in the background (which are all mom’s favorites). Mom is laying in her bed, peacefully sleeping. Dad is in a chair next to her, holding her hand, listening to the music, and embracing this time, this precious, precious time with the love of his life. He waits with mom, to see her off. He waits and speaks softly and lovingly, knowing her pain will end soon and she will be with Jesus. He waits knowing he will see her someday soon, but he will hurt a lot until that day.
This is a sermon I preached at a junior high service on 11/2/14. They were going through “tough questions” that the kids had asked. My mom had just been in Barnes Jewish (Siteman) for about a month.
Wow, so I volunteered to teach a session during this series of “questions”. And then I got my assigned question,
“If God is good, why do bad things happen?” Can’t I have a different one please, cause I’m not happy with this one? I mean, “If God is good, why do I get the bad question?”
Because, this is a really hard one, and the answer isn’t always satisfying.”
How about something like “Does God ever cry?” that I could answer: at the start of the story of Noah, Genesis 6:6, “The Lord was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain. Jesus (God the Son, 3rd person of the Trinity, Yahweh) at the death of Lazarus in John 11:33, 35 – Jesus wept. Or Jesus on Palm Sunday, Luke 19:41, he wept over Jerusalem.” Or in Garden, right before his betrayal, Mark 14:33-36, “He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch”…and he went over and prayed, “Abba, Father” … which means, “Papa, my Lord and father, if there is any way, please take this away from me, it’s not fair… but I will follow your will … … I know I’m not in control … you are.”
But instead I get, “why do bad things happen?” That’s one I get to try to answer for you. The easy answer is, well, because of Satan & sin: sin in the world and others, and sin in me & you. Let’s face it, many of us have made dumb sinful decisions, and of course they have consequences. Like going 45mph in a 35mph zone, hello Mr. policeman with a ticket just for me. Or doing poorly on a test because I stayed up watching a movie the night before instead of studying.
Today though, I want to talk about those things that happen to us that are or “seem” out of our control…And my answer to this question “If God is Good, why do bad things happen to me?”…my answer is I don’t really know. Now I 
understand people’s frustration or dissatisfaction with any of those answers, but that’s the truth. Because I don’t know the mind of God, no one does, and therefore we don’t know why he makes the decisions he does. Well no one except Jesus, and even he got murdered for following God’s Plan (Isaiah 55:8-9).
But today I want to re-frame the question by looking at two stories, Joseph’s and my mom’s; within the frame of the bigger story.
My mom, in September she turned 66, and two weeks after her birthday she was diagnosed with a kind of blood/bone cancer. How is that fair? Happy Birthday? No one in my family is happy about that. “If God is good, then why?” It’s not fair, and it’s out of my mom’s control.
Joseph, in Genesis 37 we meet this bright shining star of a son. The favorite son of the favorite wife, and therefore pretty much everyone but his parents hated him …because let’s face it, if you weren’t Joseph…it just wasn’t fair…
Dreams – then he has these dreams from God, and he has the gall to share them with his siblings…”say what? We’re gonna bow down to you?” And his dad says, “Ah Joseph, simmer down, lay off a bit”…. Then the brothers are off shepherding, dad sends Joseph to “check-up” on his brothers…here comes the…dreamer…tattle tail, let’s kill him…so they sold him to slavers, and they lied to dad, he thinks Joseph was killed by animal. It wasn’t fair, and it was out of Joseph & Jacob’s control.
My mom and dad are strong Christians. 
They’ve been believers since they were children, and as adults – they’ve been strong leaders in every church they’ve belonged to. Why them? In the hospital at Jeff City mom broke the top vertebrate in her neck from getting moved around, because of the cancer. One bad move and mom could be paralyzed, or sever the nerves that tell her heart and lungs what to do and die. So they slapped a collar on her and shipped her here to Barnes Jewish. It’s not fair, and it’s out of mom & dad’s control.
Egypt – Joseph learns humility and trust. He has faith in God, and trusts that God is with him. He obeys God’s will…
soon he is running a whole household (think like the Chief administrator for the Secretary of State, or the Joint Chiefs of Staff). But then he get’s thrown in prison for a crime he never committed, and he’s a foreigner on top of that. He’s alone, but God is with him. But it wasn’t fair, and it was out of Joseph’s control.
Four weeks…mom & dad have been at Barnes Jewish for a month. 
They had to put tubes down mom’s throat and intubate her for a while. The first round of chemo is done and now mom has a trache. They’ve taken the tubes out of her throat to eat & breath, but she’s lost the use of her voice for a while. Dad’s been staying with us so he can be at the hospital 14 hrs a day. Mom and dad are tired, they just want to go home. Mom’s not alone though. Her face lights up when we hold her hand, or chat and pray with her. Her family and God are here with her. But it isn’t fair, and it’s out of our control.
Famine – The king of Egypt has a dream about 7 good & bad years. Joseph’s dream ability comes into play. 
He’s outta prison now. Then his management skills come into play and he’s the 2nd in command over all Egypt. He saves Egypt from starvation, and everyone benefits. Everyone is saved, including Joseph’s family who thought he was dead. God truly was with Joseph. He learned so much about himself, life, and God. He trusted and obeyed God…even when things didn’t seem fair…even when things were out of control…and seemed out of God’s control.
Mom’s getting the treatment she needs. 
She’s now getting physical therapy and rest till round two of chemo on Monday. She hurts, and she’s in pain. But she’s off the ventilator now, and they are reducing her pain meds. Last week she was able to sit up by herself, even with all the muscle atrophy. Wednesday, she passed the swallow test, so she can start eating again. Mom’s been craving her Pepsi. And on Friday, she past the speech test, with help mom can talk again. But both mom and dad have shared that they have learned so much, about themselves, life, and God. They trust him, and they continue to obey…even when things don’t seem fair…even when things are out of control…and seem out of God’s control.
So often we can’t see beyond our stories, our lives. During “good times” we don’t usually ask if God’s in control, because we assume we are “in control”… after all things are, “going our way”. But during the “bad times” we wonder where is God, why would he do this to us or allow this to happen to us, or wonder if God is even in control.
We have no problem taking the credit and giving the blame. But through the lens of the Bible, in light of God’s bigger story, we begin to understand.
Joseph had a really hard time seeing his brothers when he did. He loved them, but he didn’t trust them. Would you? After a number of tests, alone in a room with them he revealed himself to them. They were freaked that the second most powerful person in their world was the brother they hated and sold to slavers. Genesis 45:2-15 (read).
I don’t know if Joseph remembered ALL of God’s promises to Abraham, to become 
a great nation, to save all people through an heir from his family. But I’d bet that he thought about the promises while walking as a slave to Egypt, while sitting in prison, while managing households and countries. And from the Bible I do know that Joseph trusted God during the Bad times and gave glory to God during the Good times. And I know Joseph saw his story as a part of God’s larger story, as a part of God’s plan, he was thankful, and satisfied, and had peace.
People enter mom & dad’s room not knowing what to expect – a dying 
lady & a grieving husband? You might be freaked if you had to spend time with a stranger with an incurable cancer. But after a few minutes you’d see their humility and love, and their faith and trust in the most powerful person in the universe. (Romans 8:28)
I know that mom and dad are clinging onto God’s promises to Abraham. I know they are clinging onto and trusting God now during this Bad time, just like they gave glory to God during the Good times. And I know for sure that my mom and dad see their story as a part of God’s bigger story, as a part of his plan for them and all people. And they are thankful, and satisfied and have peace.
Through Joseph’s story, through his Good and Bad times (happy and sad times, the fair & unfair times) God’s promises were being kept. And most importantly, the promise that God would save all people by an heir of Abraham. God was faithful; people were saved then, so that others could be saved now.
You see the WHOLE BIBLE, the big things and little things, the OT & NT, they are all marching to one thing, one goal, Christ, and for one purpose, your salvation, everyone’s salvation and – that’s the bigger story, that’s God’s narrative,
that’s what he’s writing…and Joseph’s story is a part of that narrative, and so is my mom and dad’s, and so is mine, and so is yours. (1 Timothy 2:3-6)
And here is the best part. God has already told us the ending to his story, the bigger story that we are a part of. Because God’s not fair, because his son Jesus followed his papa’s will, because he died for all sin, because he rose from the dead…so will you and I. That’s God’s will, that’s the ending of his story.
Jesus will come again and we will live with him in the new heaven and the new earth, where there is no Satan and no sin. God wants you know this. He wants everyone to know this. He is in control, and he is orchestrating everything for our salvation.
Mom and dad see their story, both the Good and Bad times in a long line of stories, like Joseph’s with God’s bigger story. And Mom’s never missing a chance to share her story, or God’s story. You walk in the room get ready for an earful. And dad is right there with her, the love of his life, everyday, when she wakes up and after she falls asleep. They give God the glory in the Good times, and trust him in the Bad times. And Every night they pray for the strength and humility to follow God’s will, even when it doesn’t seem fair. The nurses know this and now they have begun asking mom to pray for other patients in the cancer ward. God is faithful; and people are being saved, so that others can be saved.
God isn’t doing anything to punish you, or love you any less than the person next to you. Nor does God give you blessings because you deserve them. God isn’t Fair. His goal is for all people to know him, and be redeemed. So if it takes making you happy, or wealth and health to make you know him, then that is what he is going to do. But if it takes a failing grade, not getting onto a team or in a club, or the loss of job or money, or sickness or cancer, then that’s what he is going to do.
God isn’t fair, because his goal is for all to be reconciled to him. He wants all to be in relationship with him now and forever. It’s not about blessings or punishments, or happiness, or fairness. He wants you to know him, to know he knows you, because he has orchestrated everything so that you will, both now and forever.
My goal in trying re-frame the question for you, to give you an answer, isn’t so that you leave here happy because of a situation in your story. (And honestly some situations don’t lend themselves to happiness)…but that you have peace.
I want you to know that God is in control of the situation, and he is working it out for your eternal salvation. He wants you to be included in the end of his story. And to know that God is going to use you and your story to share his with others, just like Joseph’s and mom’s & dad’s. So others can be included in his story now…and in the end too.
So See your story framed within his bigger story. Thank God, that he isn’t fair. Live your story like my mom, like Joseph, like Jesus. Knowing God is in Control. Humbly give him the glory during the Good times, and trust him in the Bad times. And have his peace.
Cup Overflowing 